ONE pollock

ONE’s bedroom wall has turned into a graveyard of snot.

She’s literally used it as a tissue for so long now that it’s starting to look like the first layer of a Jackson Pollock painting.

Except that it’s not.

I notice it every time I go into her room and then forget about it as soon as I leave.

So the painting has grown from postcard size to wallpaper.

And it totally skeeves me out when we’re reading stories in bed. They’re completely 3D from this angle and in an array of earthy tones. Tortoise shell, really. I make her lie closest to the wall. I just don’t want one of those things flaking off on me.

Turns out I needn’t be concerned with that happening.

I finally remembered to make her clean the wall this morning. I handed her a sponge and some spray. She went to town on the wall, but the only thing that happened was that she buffed her boogers to a high gloss.

I almost vomited when she handed the sponge to me, but I reminded myself that I’m the adult and that there are certain things, like spiders, shadows and snot that are now my responsibility. I scrubbed and one fell off. But it took off some paint with it.

Does lumpy mucus turn into glue when it’s exposed to air? Is there any way to get it off my wall without heaving and exposing the crimson paint that used to be there?

To be continued…

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©2008 CEK. All Rights Reserved. Touch my stuff and your ass is mine. Seriously.

Tagged as: bedrooms, boogers, cleaning, mucus, paint, picking noses, snot