I know I haven’t been around the blogosphere much this summer, but you’ll be happy to know that in my absence I’ve still found time to collect judgments. Not that it’s hard. If you’re in a public place with other kids and caregivers, you’re also sharing space with cutting remarks. And judgments are rarely quiet.
Here are some of my favorites:
“Does she NOT see her kid pulling at those those books?” -Mom at dance class.
“Is that baby sipping coffee?” -Woman at Starbucks.
“I would never let my kid talk to me like that.” -Mom at the Sprayground.
“Why is she wearing her Dora costume? She shouldn’t wear that in public.” -Preschooler at Target.
“THAT’S why I only have three kids.” -Breastfeeding mom by the sandbox.
“I can’t believe someone is paying that woman to watch their children.” -Mom by the slide.
“You do so much for your kids, only to know they’ll wind up in school with ones like that.” -Mom in the library.
“You’ll never run around like that in a store, will you?” -Mom to her baby.
“Why even come to the park if you’re not gonna play with your kids?” -Stroller Mom #1 to Stroller Mom #2.
“That child needs a bathing suit that fits.” -Woman at the pool.
“There’s nothing trashier than a naked kid running around in a soggy diaper.” -Girl to her boyfriend.
Okay, fine. That last one was me. And then I went and gave birth to Ol’ Freebird who doesn’t conform to cotton. Sure she smiles as she chooses an outfit in the morning. And then she strips it all off in the name of “Dress-up!” and never puts it back on.
I’ve since learned that clothing hinders things like watching Little Einsteins.
It’s also unnecessary while partaking in meals, snacks, and the destruction of a clean playroom
And finally, waiving to neighbors and the mail carrier in the buff is KEY to happiness.
I’m grateful she’s taken this role for the team. Our mail carrier wouldn’t appreciate it if I were the one waiting for the bills in my Mary Jane boots.
And more importantly? Thank GOD I wasn’t the one who yakked about the boy bad-mouthing his mother. Can you imagine the kind of kid she’s gonna birth one day? Not that I’d comment on it…
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{ 44 comments }
Ah judgements. They truly do make the world go around.
“You do so much for your kids, only to know they’ll wind up in school with ones like that.” -Mom in the library. — this one made me cringe…it seems especially harsh.
Cringing a little, too, futureblackmail, because it was probably me who said that.
Naptimewriting´s last [type] ..Unthinkable
Now, if you took your daughter to Walmart in nothing but a diaper, then you might have something to worry about. But if she can’t be comfortable at home, then where??
Mrs.Mayhem´s last [type] ..To Work or Not to Work- That Is the Question
Ah yes, naked babies and toddlers. My son spends at least 6 hours a day either totally naked or in his undies. Actually, he looks pretty comfortable. He might be on to something.
Allison @Alli n Son´s last [type] ..Fave Links
Pre kids I used to be very judgey about kids out and about in their pajamas. Now, if my kids went to Dunkin Donuts in anything BUT their pajamas, they’d ask me what the special occasion was!
I’ve perfected my “dirty look” just for the moms who find themselves all high and mighty to judge other moms.
becca´s last [type] ..I’m Off
Welcome back!
I am a self admitted judger – but I have learned to judge as silently as possible, ’cause lord knows all the other judgers out there see me as a PRIME target.
I used to judge ALL the time. Certainly I could do better than those parents. And then I gave birth, and it all came crashing down.
Gibby´s last [type] ..Friday Foto
Hello? Do I know you…this is so me!
Keia´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- TwoTired Monsters
At least your daughter is wearing a diaper. My 2-year-old has taken to stripping EVERYTHING off. He even streaks at the park if I don’t keep a close eye on him! O.o
Jenn M´s last [type] ..North- to Alaska
I bet your mail carrier would really appreciate it if you picked up the mail in only boots.
Okay, I’m thinking of a male mail carrier. Mine are always male. But I don’t get the mail in only boots. I usually get the mail in my jammies.
The Mother´s last [type] ..FREEDOM!
Miss D. was notorious for stripping. And dancing on tables. We worry about her future career choices.
TheKitchenWitch´s last [type] ..White Trash Motherlode- Taco Salad
Ah! But if they are wearing a diaper, they are not naked. Really. In mommyhood, never say never, cause your kid is totally gonna do it. I remember thinking “Why doesn’t she just teach him to wipe his own butt?! He’s 5 for godssake.”. Totally eating those words as I send my almost 6 year old off to kindergarten with wet wipes cause he can’t wipe his butt with toilet paper without making a mess. *sigh*
Sara´s last [type] ..Yarn Dyeing with Pro Chemical Acid Washfast Dyes
I love this. Yeah, I used to be much worse than I am now because of a lack of perspective. When I didn’t have kids, I thought I knew what it was like to have kids because I had a little sister who was 10 years younger than me, and I took care of her a lot. Yeah, not the same thing! Now, I still judge a bit, but I am self-aware enough to know that it’s mostly my own insecurity as a mother that’s coming out in those moments. Like, I think, “oh look — there’s someone doing worse than me! I HAVE to point it out to make myself feel better!” But I try to keep it in my head. We all have “those” days, and unless the person is doing something really out of line – like smacking the kid in the face – I try to understand that there might be something else going on there.
Can you tell I’ve had years of therapy?? ;)
WOW, some of these are SO harsh. I agree with Futureblackmail, this one – “You do so much for your kids, only to know they’ll wind up in school with ones like that.” – is especially harsh. OUCH. I really hope I never say anything like that out loud, even if I might think it. I hope I have enough grace to think it, but then dismiss it.
Oh, and my two-year-old would love nothing more than to be naked ALL DAY. It’s fun, we’re home, so why not.
onthenightyouwereborn´s last [type] ..What Did You Say
P.S. It just gets worse apparently. These snarky things *we* say continue and are even worse later. I also read mamapundit.com. She recently lost her 18-year-old son to a drug overdose and beating. I just read her latest post where she describes her son’s last few months after his inpatient treatment and before his death. It’s so sad to me that people were using the comments to judge the author/mom about how if she had done a better job parenting her son wouldn’t have become addicted to drugs or died. What a horrible thing to say. I know you’ve posted about having a friend who was addicted, so I’m passing this along because you may be able to relate. I’ve been following her for several months and her story haunts me.
onthenightyouwereborn´s last [type] ..What Did You Say
Duh. Here’s the link: http://mamapundit.com/2010/08/remembering-henry-in-treatment-2/
onthenightyouwereborn´s last [type] ..What Did You Say
Yeah I call them opinions, and they are like assholes. Every one has one. It is amazing the things that come out of some moms mouths. and the worst ones normally come from moms who claim to be good Christians.
: (
soccermom´s last [type] ..The hurt
My six-year-old and 11 (almost 12) year-old still hang out in underwear. I only make them put clothes on when people come over. I find it amusing though that Dad will make them put on shirts at the dinner table….even though they’re still in their boxers.
Cathy´s last [type] ..!!! Progress !!!
Ah, judgements. Exist everywhere. On everything.
Rudri Patel´s last [type] ..Let One Thing Go
I thought to myself…”Please don’t pour that Fanta in the baby’s bottle. Oh crap, you just gave your 6 month old Fanta.” At least I kept it silent. And yes, I’m the Mom with the kid sipping coffee, yet soda still bothers me. I can’t even meet my own standards!
Misty, Southern Belle Mama´s last [type] ..And Then There Was School
Oh puhleeze! Sounds to me like your kids are perfectly normal, healthy and happy kids. And that – is your end goal. Not theirs.
Gigi´s last [type] ..Warning – This is going to be random
I was a judger myself along with my childless friends. Then once we started having multiple kids we realized that our kids did all the things we USED to pass judgement on.
I used to goof on my sister-in-law for nursing my nephew too long. My daughter was 2 before she stopped nursing…bad nursing karma.
I judged people who let their kids sleep in their beds. My daughter slept in my bed until she was 4. Thank GOD all those days are behind me :)
Jersey Girl Gets Real´s last [type] ..Cast of Characters- “5 Star” I Have Become One of THOSE Mothers!
I’ve heard a handful of those before! So funny how judgement is kind of universal…
The thing that kills me is my kids won’t keep their shoes on at the playground, and you better believe I hear about that one from the other moms… and get the looks…
Corinne´s last [type] ..Monsters & Courage
There is nothing I would like better than for some of those judgmental witches get a taste of their own medicine. As a parent, all you can do is try. You make the best of whatever comes your way and deal.
By the way, my three boys like nothing better than to parade around as naked as jaybirds. I can assure you that we are not nudists, but I totally wish that I could at least walk around topless when I am feeling hot…
Maria´s last [type] ..And when you thought nothing else could go wrong
Keegan has recently taken to stripping in the backyard. I can only imagine the comments the nosy neighbor is making behind her half pulled drapes!
I judge because I’m perfect. Obviously.
*Wink. Wink.*
Dude. I’ve said at least 3 of these … but only the ones I’m okay coming back to bite me. Like the naked kid and the costumes. Who really cares about those? I’ll take trashy over screaming any day!
You know what sucks? I used to never judge because “by the grace of God go I . . .,” right? But lately I’m sicken as I become more and more Judgy McJudge. Thank God that I have enough sense to keep from saying it out loud.
I’m the one who just gives dirtly or flabbergasted looks. You know, because a look says a thousand words, but I feel it allows me to be all pious and such. And my youngest, and your daughter. Kindred spirits. He’s a free-sportin’ naked kind of boy too. I’m worried for the future.
Christine LaRocque´s last [type] ..Finding stability and learning to coast
My son’s a free sporter too! I just say – him running around free-sportin’ can’t be any worse than what the teeny boppers provide visually at the mall on a Friday night!
Keia´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- TwoTired Monsters
Gabe just recently started wearing clothes on a regular basis and he’s 8…and people who judge will find it coming back to them in spades!
Tiffany´s last [type] ..I Don’t See Her Anymore
“There’s nothing trashier than a naked kid running around in a soggy diaper.” – I’vesaid that one, well maybe not exactly those words but I don’t like seeing it!
SuziCate´s last [type] ..Wake Up Little Suzi!
People should not judge, lest they be judged…man, those people all suck! I would never have the balls to say those things to other mothers or anyone. I keep my mouth shut! I know people judge me and really I don’t care.
Before I had my son I used to judge or just cringed at the fact that people would let their kids climb all over the seats in restaurants. I especially hated when a kid would pierce his/her head over the booth to stare, pick boogers, or throw food onto the next table.
As you can imagine I was reminded of this by my son last week while dining out! I turned around, looked at my son and said sternly, “HEY, don’t be that kid…seriously don’t”! He just looked at me and screamed to the top of his lungs and laughed. Urgggh!
Keia´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- TwoTired Monsters
I used to wait tables, so I constantly judged parents who couldn’t get their kids to behave in the restaurant. After all, why would anyone take a misbehaving child out to eat.
And then I had kids.
And now I understand…all too well.
I’ve got to turn my hearing aids up! Goodness knows what they’re all sayin’ about me! My youngest’s latest is going out the door with mis-matched shoes (not just different colors, but different kinds – as in a flip flop on one foot and a tennis shoe, complete with socks, on the other.)
Jane´s last [type] ..Elevatin’ To Another Level – Not Higher- Just Different
Yesterday, my 3yo, went out in public with 2 different shoes on. You know-to each his own… I loved how you framed this post. And you’re absolutely right. Don’t say it because sooner or later, your kid will do just the thing you thought you were above.
~Laura´s last [type] ..100 Things About Me
I certainly hope that not all of these comments were directed at you. Please say they weren’t. Otherwise, I think we should set up a “Judging Momma” termination squad!
Lanita´s last [type] ..Pedaling Justice
They weren’t!
I mean, I HOPE they weren’t.
Sh*t.
I guess they could’ve been…
I don’t know, I think the mail carrier might appreciate you in Mary Jane boots.
Unknown Mami´s last [type] ..Sundays In My City
See, I divide those who need to be judged into two groups: those who let superficial stupid stuff slide and are probably wonderful parents, and those who let important stuff go and are bad parents. If a kid is smeared in chocolate in two different kinds of shoes with no pants eating sand, I don’t judge. If the kid is neatly pressed and carefully curled and throwing sand without reprimand, I judge. If a child is naked in a diaper at the playground I don’t judge. If the child is completely naked and pees on my shoes without being corrected I judge.
So mostly, if there’s no effort to educate children who throw, fling, or unleash substances on others, I judge. Otherwise, I live and let live.
Naptimewriting´s last [type] ..Unthinkable
This is why I love living in the middle of nowhere and not understanding the locals
But you should see the way some of them dress their kids!
See what i did there ;) *snigger*
I think I’m the one they probably gossip and pass judgement on though. i’m the one whose kids are ALWAYS naked -not even a diaper- is late for picking them up and dropping them off places, whose kids are constantly covered in food and running around causing havoc. Maybe there’s a better reason for me living in the middle of nowhere…
Heather – Notes From Lapland´s last [type] ..What Lengths Will You Go To For A Cup Of Tea
Ahh, I was a judger and now I’m am completely and totally getting my ass kicked by these “payback for judging others” kids. Judge no more. Well, maybe a little.
Casey´s last [type] ..Random Thursday Thoughts – The Madness That Is BlogHer
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