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I’ve received some emails about the “questions” I ask my girls to prompt our nightly journaling (mentioned in Mini Innies), and since the journals are actually prayer journals, I thought I’d talk about them here. We started them back in May after I heard a woman speak about journaling with her kids as a way to incorporate God into their daily lives so they could know Him, as opposed to just knowing about Him. And while God is the core of our journaling experience, I think the concept could be translated by anyone interested in journaling with his or her kids, regardless of where they fall on the faith spectrum.
The fill-in-the-blank style questions seemed simple: God is amazing because/Thank You for/ Please forgive me for/ Prayer request. I figured the outcome would be cute, and if nothing else the girls would end up with a record of the things they experienced and perhaps the habit of journaling their thoughts. My biggest hope was that we would create a safe atmosphere to talk about the things that were important to them, and maybe even set the stage for communicating when they got older.
Both girls took to journaling right away (mostly because it was a sure-fire way to stall bedtime by at least 15 minutes), and over the next three months it became part of our routine. And then August hit. First we had to tell them about the ADDICT situation, and then we found out that ONE was developing allergies to dairy, eggs and beef and had to remove all traces of them from her diet, and then we heard that one of her beloved teachers was very sick and probably not returning, and then the earthquake, and the hurricane, and then both girls didn’t get into a class with their best friends. (For real, the rest of this year better be FANTASTIC.)
Since we were already accustomed to intimate sharing during their journaling time, they poured their hearts out about our ADDICT. They also asked lots of (age-appropriate) questions about addiction and why God wouldn’t change a person against their will just because we prayed. There were questions about death, which led to ONE informing TWO that they had a baby sister or brother in heaven (and lots of questions about that). And also, because journaling time was a safety zone (things they confessed weren’t consequenced), both girls started feeling comfortable enough to ask forgiveness for things they’d been keeping inside that we didn’t know about. We were able to break down little walls before they went up, and to address things that would’ve been forced had I questioned them, but natural because they brought it up themselves.
After that I started asking the girls if there was anything they wanted to “say” to God. They were usually silly or sweet during this time, asking Him to kiss their baby (ONE) or asking Him how he “made them to poop” (TWO). But one night TWO told Him that she didn’t need Him, and ONE “thanked” Him for not putting her in the same class as her best friend, and for not letting her eat her favorite beef. I was floored (and excited) by their honesty. It was a great opportunity to support their right to be angry, to be heard, and to question God. But it was also a chance to encourage them not to stop there and dwell. Once they got those big things out, they needed to do something with them. And for us, it started with remembering who God is, what He has done, and that He is faithful, even when it seems like He is absent. Which is where the journals came in.
During our crisis month we were able to look back through ONE’s prayer requests and see how God had answered many of them. We could review the areas where she sought forgiveness and no longer felt guilt. And we could highlight all of the good things that happened to her, even though it felt like her little world was crashing. And for TWO, even though she didn’t think she needed God, we could remind her that she needed her blankie (which He provided) and she needed to poop (which He created her body to do), so she could continue her quest for lollipops.
Faith is a hard thing to understand, even for an adult. So explaining the whole concept of living it forward, even though you won’t be able to truly experience it until you’re looking at it in hindsight, would be impossible to explain to a child. Unless, of course, you don’t have to because there is written proof of it in their own words (sometimes in their own handwriting), of who God is, and what He’s done in their lives.
©2011 CEK. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
{ 14 comments }
Journals! What an interesting idea for the pint-sized crowd. I remember my childhood journals, full of laments that Kyle S. did not like me and that my BFF was now the BFF of that snobby new girl TIffany P. How I would have loved to have some of the focus you’re providing your girls!
I was also inspired by that talk, but never got around to doing anything about it. Your post is encouraging me to get it going again.
What a wonderful time of fellowship and deepening of relationships — with each other and with God.
TFS!
Love this!
Love this idea. I love journals and journaling and the power it carries. It’s great that you are cultivating this habit with your children.
This is an amazing idea! Should god ever grant me the joy that is children I may just have to steal this idea!
In fact I may have to start doing this on my own. Might be a good exercise in helping me realize who God really is and that he hasn’t really turned away from me!
I’ve found journaling about what God has done in my life encouraging and uplifting. Because when good things happen, I always think I’ll remember them forever. But I never do. And I also write about the struggles and hardships too because somehow, in reviewing the details a year or two later, you can see what God was doing, or why He allowed things to happen. I know that if I didn’t write them down, I’d never in a million years remember. And I’d think He’d forgotten about me too. (You’re not alone feeling that way.)
PS: I know we don’t know each other, but if you ever want to talk faith, or God, or questions of that nature, please email me. I won’t have all the answers, but it’s something I never tire of discussing. ck(at)badmommymoments(dot)com
Wow.
I love this!
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful idea.
I love this… I might have to borrow, not just for the boys, but for myself…Thank you!
I love this. This is so cool. I’m bookmarking this page so that when my girls are old enough to write I can come back to this. Making God an important part of every day, and also giving them a way to communicate/process their feelings – very cool. (btw, I haven’t commented in a loooong time, but I’m still reading every post ;)
You know as an atheist I always skip your religious oriented posts (hope that isn’t rude to admit), and I don’t know why I read this one… but I love the idea of journalling. I’m going to try implementing in a secular way.
Question: Isn’t your youngest too little to write? How are you involving her precisely? My kids are about the same age as yours (I think) 7 and 4, which one of reasons I’ve always found this blog so entertaining and informative.
It’s not rude at all! In fact, I put “Sinners’ Club” in the title of my posts about God for that very reason. I think you could easily do journaling in a secular way. I’m sure you’ll come up with lots of alternatives to what I wrote, but if you’re interested, I jotted down a few ideas along those lines in a conversation on the fan page next to the link to this post.
For the most part, I take dictation for both of my girls. (From time to time my 6YO asks to write herself, but she’s just starting to write, so she’s not very interested yet. She also enjoys the chance to boss me around, so there’s lots of, “Did you write exactly what I said? Read it back to me, please. I want to make sure,” etc…) I involve them both the same way: I ask, they answer. I’m usually sitting still and they tend to dance, or color, or play, or just roll around while answering the questions. I love writing for them because I can do it verbatim, sometimes adding what they’re doing (like singing the answers to the tune of a certain song, or acting things out). It’s fun to capture the kinds of details and nuances I’d forget otherwise, and I think they’ll get a kick out of later. (Or, more likely, I’ll sob while reading when they’re teenagers and I’m feeling nostalgic…)
I love the concept of journals and writing with your kids. It is important to write it all down because, as everyone knows, we always remember the bad and never the good. I think that’s why I lost my faith along the way.
Thank you, ck. I think you have just given me a very big key to solving a problem. I feel it in my gut. Evan has regressed in potty training since the seperation. Some times he can go weeks without an accident or he goes months having one a day. Within the last week or so, it’s been several times a day. I know it’s in his head. We’ve tried so many things, asked so many people for advice. We’re at our wits end. But here. This makes sense. I know he can’t get things out that he needs to. I know that I haven’t done a very good job of including God other than formal prayers every day. This just may be the answer. Thank you. I’m going to try it tomorrow.
..I am teaching a two day workshop on spiritual journaling and would like to hear from some of the folks here that do journal what is the greatest benefit to them. ..Journaling is a way of gathering the fruits that the Lord blesses us with. Since I am a prayer newbie I think this will help me…Regular journaling is very theraputic and it helps to just get out whats in your head even if its just small stuff.