a house of three vaginas

by ck on April 24, 2012

(Day 2 – Words)

Some of the words you might drown in if you find yourself living in a house of three vaginas:

“SHE SMILED AT ME!” • Barbie in the Nutcracker • Barbie as Rapunzel • “I SAID, STOP COPYING ME!”  • Hysteria •  Hurt feelings •  Hair brushes that look like toy dogs •  ”YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” • Days of the Week panties (that ruin a week if worn out of order)  • Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper • Barbie: Fairytopia • Farting • Fairness • Fragmented logic • Whining because identical french braids look better in her hair, EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE IDENTICAL • Shoes. Boots. Sandals. Flip flops. (Everywhere) • ZERO toilet paper • Tea sets • Tights • Tantrums •  ”No offense, but…” • Breakfast that can only be eaten in the blue bowl. The tiny blue bowl. The ONLY blue bowl in the house, and SHE has it. • Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus •  Barbie: Mermaidia • Pouting • Ponies •  (Synchronized) PMS • “This is my nipple; her name is ‘Queenie.’” • Bored eating • Bored moaning • Bored blaming • “BUT WHY CAN’T I WEAR A BIKINI?” •  Hugs • Hearts • Hollering • Pull-ups with butterflies (“not those plain white ones, boys might wear them, and I don’t wear what boys wear.”) • Tank tops over shirts worn with shorts over leggings over tights •  Shower drains clogged with hair • Pink •  Purple • Puce • ”YOU NEED TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY LOUDER!” •  Stuffed animals • Stuffed babydolls • Stuffed bras • “Whaddya need a penis for, anyway?” • Everything tastes better in the Princess lunch box–and SHE has it • “I like to do things the hard way.” • Barbie Diaries • Barbie Mariposa • Whines in the key of banshee  • “YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING!” •

“I want to be a mommy just like you when I grow up.”

©2012 CEK. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 

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Hankering for some more WORDS?

 

{ 12 comments }

TheKitchenWitch April 24, 2012 at 11:49 am

You crack me up!

Kate April 24, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Uh-huh.

Maria April 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Love it!

Tiffany April 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm

These are eerily similar to a house of 3 penises and 2 vaginas…hmmmm….

MKCountryman April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

A nipple named Queenie?

Looking forward to it……..

Justine April 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Ah yes. It’s like looking into a crystal ball for me right here.

OY.

Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri April 24, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Love this CK. Spot on!

becca April 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Strangely, I hear MOST of this with the little vagina and little penis living in my house. That’s what happens when the girl is older. I guess. So funny.

Kelly April 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Princess and the Pauper and A Mermaid Tale (1 and 2) over here. And the 18 layers plus 5 hairbows, a couple necklaces, and lipstick. Love it!

Alisa April 25, 2012 at 12:26 am

Hilarious! I have a son but am pregnant with a girl- is this what I’m in store for? So my son will run around yelling “My penis hurts! Let me look at it!” while my little girl will say “Whaddya need a penis for anyways?”. Can’t wait.

Sarah April 25, 2012 at 10:06 am

I am now contemplating naming my nipples. Or maybe just one.

Heather April 26, 2012 at 9:45 pm

hilarious! living with boys is so very different!

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