Of course it’s a girl. Girls are my husband’s lot in life. With the exception of our next dog, which at this point is still speculation, every addition to our family has been female.
I know I’ve kept pretty quiet on the whole thing, waiting these 4+ months without even dropping a hint. Not for the reasons you’d assume. I wasn’t concerned about health issues, or adjusting to the surprise of it all. I knew it was inevitable. These things happen. But I kept quiet mostly out of shame and denial. You know me. I don’t adjust well to change and I’ve had my routines down for years now. And next to guilt, denial is my favorite emotional phase. Denial is also heavy-duty when you can’t afford such a change. (It’s so expensive!) And shame because my house fell to shambles during this time and I really didn’t want anyone to see it.
But I’m out of hiding now. And I’m so excited. We really splurged too, saving all these months. I’ll admit, she’s a little strange to look at. Purple-y and slightly misshapen, not unlike a newborn babe. And like a baby, she’s fascinating to watch. She has this see-thru canister that collects and spins dog hair like a cotton candy machine. Our area rug in the living room? Filled the entire canister. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve vacuumed. I mean, sure. I have a wonderful friend who lent me her vacuum several times over the months, but she has the same vacuum as I did, and I was afraid I’d break hers too, so I had to stop using it. And I did. Over a month ago.
I’ll have you know that I’m fully aware of what my life has come to. How sad it is that I would find such delight in a cleaning tool, and that I’m so giddy I woke myself up early this morning so that I could unleash the cleaning powers of my new family member. But look–I’ve spent the last two months of shedding season with a broom. A BROOM. And I have a Golden Retriever who is afraid of a brush, and two kids who shed everything from clothes to beads to crusts of playdoh I didn’t even see them playing with.
So if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my Dyson. I have it all planned out. First I’m taking her to The Playroom so we can get to know each other, berber-style. And then it’s Upstairs for a little carpet-to-hardwood-floor action (and it’s the same tool for both!). And the Mini Turbine Head? I might finally remove the orange sheen that turned my blue furniture the color of puke.
I can see her from here. Beckoning me with her suction power and combination crevice / brush tool. Sure I have four months of filth to remove and I won’t be able to buy Starbucks or Chinese food for the next five, but she’s more than worth the gestation period it took to bring her home.
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