we just do it

by ck on March 6, 2013

While getting ready to leave the park, a young mom marched in with a double-jogging stroller. It was the kind of forceful push that showed that SHE needed to be there. The kids probably did too, but she REALLY needed it. I know that walk well.

As she neared us I realized that she was pregnant. I was struck with awe by how she had it so together that she was already using a double-stroller. And then she passed us. She looked to be about 6 months pregnant, and her child was about 18 months old. And inside the other side of the stroller was baby carrier. With an infant in it.

At first I was confused, but then I remembered hearing of a young mom in the neighborhood who had a set of Irish twins born 11 months apart. And when she went in for her 6 week check-up after the second birth she found out that she was pregnant again.

I tried to focus on collecting the girls and their shoes, but all I could think about was the Irish-twin-having mom. HOW DID SHE DO IT?

Seriously?

I mean, I can barely keep it together these days and both of my kids are older than all three of hers.

I watched her for a minute. Chasing after the toddler, checking in on the baby in the carrier and stretching her back. She just did it.

We all just do it.

Like when there’s a sick baby who doesn’t understand that being sick means laying down and sleeping and watching TV. And instead they whine and cry and puke all over the house.

We just do it.

Or when we’ve almost made it through the store and our kid looks up at the cashier and asks, “Why does she have a beard?”

We just do it. (We die a little inside, but we still do it.)

Or when our kid misbehaves on a playdate and we raise our voice and everyone around us jumps at our tone and someone actually gasps. But not our kid, she doesn’t seem phased.

What? That’s just me? Fine, whatever. I just do it.

When the day melts down by 2pm and it’s raining and it’s boring and it’s loud in the house.

We just do it.

Or when there’s nothing to make for dinner and it wouldn’t matter if there were because we’re not going to cook anyway and we really want to order out but we know we can’t afford it.

We pull out the pancake mix and just do it.

Because there’s just something about being a mom that makes us do it. Some strange, autopilot strength that kicks in when we’ve shut down and carries us through to bedtime.

Because sometimes we just need to make it to bedtime.

There’s always hope at bedtime.

And quiet and peace and a moment to ponder how glad we are to have done it.

©2009 CEK. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 

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{ 45 comments }

ymK October 26, 2009 at 8:15 am

Here’s to you, and here’s to me and all the moms who are going to comment, and all those who just read and don’t comment, and to all those who don’t read this blog…yet. *raising my Coke can*

Here’s to our autopilot strength that helps us get it done.

~Laura October 26, 2009 at 8:47 am

Oh, you nailed this one. It’s the nike ad for moms. I’ve had a while last week of just do its. Here’s to a new week and always another day!

Rachel October 26, 2009 at 8:57 am

Absolutely! In a few months, I’ll have two sets of kids 20 months apart. and a 10 year old. I know I can do it, too. What an awesome post!

What I’d really like to know, though, about those moms with “Irish twins”, is how, and for the love of god, WHY, they wanted to DO IT with a month old baby?!?!

Futureblackmail October 26, 2009 at 9:24 am

I really like this post and I can relate, as I’m sure many other Moms could.

When people ask me “how do you do it?” I can never think of answer because I really don’t know what gets me through each and every day.

As for this Mom of the these Irish twins – SHE has my respect. Holy shit I couldn’t do that. :)

Shauna October 26, 2009 at 9:51 am

I know the “why”? Because we have to! I love my husband dearly, and he’s great with helping out, but for the life of him can’t remember an appointment, a daycare check or what time swimming lessons are! I listen to conference calls while I make play-doh animals because we don’t live near fanily and have no back up – I have to! I know we all have our individual things we do every day that we never thought we could… because we have to! Great post, and hang in there all your Mama’s, especially the Irish Twins Mama!

Sindy October 26, 2009 at 10:17 am

By virtue of having triplets, I’m one that always gets asked “how do you do it?” usually after a mom has said she could not possibly do it herself. I say, “We moms have a way of just rising to the occasion. We just do.”

Keyona October 26, 2009 at 10:47 am

That is until bedtime is inturrupted by Mr. Cough.

Just kidding! You are so right. I wonder some days how I make it without drowning myself, but just like NIKE, we JUST DO IT!!

GoonieMomma October 26, 2009 at 11:00 am

Big Daddy and I were amorous when Lil was 3 weeks old. We used a condom with spermicide, spermicide, and the pull out.
No Effing Way.
That said, Yup, we just do it. But, really, what choice do we have??

GoonieMomma October 26, 2009 at 11:04 am

OH, CK, I channeled you last night, whilst scooping out my first tub poo!!! He little turded, I scooped. He was all done bathing anyway, so I let out the water, stood Lil up and OUT CAME AN ADULT SIZE SOLID TURD. I had filled up all his dino-squirters, used them as a bidet and scooped with a stacker cup (water drained out and I was left with only the offense).

I swear I heard you whisper, “Good job, trooper. You’ve gotten off easy so far… You’ve got an iron stomach, and you’ll do well. But… this is only the beginning.”

A Reluctant Mom October 26, 2009 at 11:24 am

First of all, because I’m totally judgmental, could her husband please get off her? I mean, come on! Having three kids that close in age is not good for a woman’s body, let alone the children’s health (I’ve done the research – it’s horrible; many children who are born so close in age suffer from behavioral disorders and other issues). Second, yes, you’re right, we do “just do it,” but I find women who are burdened with so much at one time often times just do whatever they can to cope. Maybe that’s a good thing but often times someone suffers in the end. My hope is she is the exception.

(Sorry. I’m PMS. I’ll jump off the soapbox now…)

Steel Magnolia October 26, 2009 at 11:35 am

You’re right–we just do it. Not always well, but we do it.
That reminds me of my friend’s mom, who always says that parenting is hard work–that’s why lots of people DON’T do it, even when they have children.
It’s hard and we’ll never really be paid back, but we do it anyway, the best way we can.

sunnymom October 26, 2009 at 11:50 am

I can so relate to this whole post. As a single mom I often have friends tell me that they do not know how I do what I do and keep it together. First of all there are days that I don’t really keep it together like I should but I put on the brave face and like you said just do it, then after Tooters is in bed I allow myself to break down a little bit for a few minutes. Second if we didn’t “just do it” who would??

Unknown Mami October 26, 2009 at 12:10 pm

This is why Nike should feature a campaign with just moms.

Ink October 26, 2009 at 12:30 pm

Unsung heroes, for sure. I really needed this post this morning, CK, after the whiniest weekend on record. (And the kids were whining too.) ;) Thank you!

Jen October 26, 2009 at 1:00 pm

Yep your right. I remember almost 5 short months ago thinking how in the world am I going to shower, grocery shop, spend time with M. It took some time but I found my groove. And Friday…when it was pissing buckets here in my Nations Capital. I pretended like M was sick, tucked him in on the couch and had a video day, just to keep some sanity.

I am so glad I found your blog via my sister…..you guys really keep it real!

Cheers!

Niki October 26, 2009 at 2:07 pm

Amen.

Rhiannon October 26, 2009 at 2:21 pm

I love this! It’s just great :)

The Mother October 26, 2009 at 2:54 pm

One foot in front of the other, for 18 years each.

And I don’t even own a pair of Nikes.

Tiffany October 26, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Right on the money, Ck!

Yvonne Moss October 26, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Yes. So true. Mothers do the job no one else can, because mothers do… just… do…. it. And it’s a position of honor. Yes, it is.

OntheNightYouWereBorn October 26, 2009 at 4:35 pm

What a great post ck. Oh so true. I think this nicely sums up why women are the superior gender – we have the ability to just do it b/c no one else will. ;-) And a nice reminder for me that sometimes being a mommy sucks for other people than just me! Thanks for brightening my day.

Mira October 26, 2009 at 6:40 pm

This is my answer to the constant question of how I do it with triplets too. I always say it’s relative and we all just do what we have to do. I never claim to suffer more than moms with fewer kids, I just have to be more efficient and scheduled. Some things don’t get done, like rocking anyone to sleep and tolerating the need to play every second with mom. They aren’t missing any more than any other second kid in a family who gets a little less than the first.

As with much in life, you just do what you have to do.

Evenshine October 26, 2009 at 6:51 pm

Yes. Yes. Yes. My mom had 4 in 5 years and she always has said: You just do what needs to be done .

faemom October 26, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Wonderful post. Awesome! It was really inspiring. Actually I thought you were going somewhere else with this, but that’s because I think I’m getting more judgemental with age. I mean who lets their husband any where near them before six weeks, much less the first several months or year (ok, that might just be me)?

insider53 October 26, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Yes we do, because who else is going to do it for us……no one! I had a set of Irish twins although I referred to them as the tag-team. At one time my kids were 5,1,and newborn. For those of you who are doing it, God bless and it all turns out okay in the end. Just keep smiling.

Dawn October 26, 2009 at 9:03 pm

My mom had 3 under the age of 3 …and she kept on, keeping on.
Mine, I stopped at 2 under the age of 2…LOL.
Kuddos to all of us moms who just do it!

theycallmejane October 26, 2009 at 9:53 pm

Thanks for validating the mom mantra, “Just Do It!” (Nike stole it from us, I swear!) I’m into day four of just doing it (kid sick with the flu) and it’s getting old. But you’ve rejuvenated me!

TheKitchenWitch October 26, 2009 at 11:03 pm

Yes, you are right. We DO it. But we also reserve the right to bitch about it every minute of the day :) Awesome post, as always.

shannon October 26, 2009 at 11:25 pm

this post might just make you my hero, friend. freakishly accurate and beautifully written.

Gibby October 26, 2009 at 11:28 pm

And at the end of the day, when we’ve done it, we know that tomorrow we get to do it all over again!

Becky October 26, 2009 at 11:38 pm

I think I will frame this one.

Great post.

Ink October 27, 2009 at 12:00 am

Hi CK: Re: your query, Robin at Passions & Soapboxes is the true Wordpress graphics expert. She figured out how to add the backgrounds there by using CSS (it’s an upgrade that costs $15 per year). So I’d ask her.

If you want to play for free, you can frolic among the templates that WP already has (which is awesome because just a click and your whole blog is instantly redone). You can add pictures on your sidebar, too…there are instructions for that in the Help Forums. If I remember correctly, you have to upload the image to your storage at WP first, then click on its properties to get the new name of it. Then open a text/html box on your sidebar and specify that particular new name. You use the following:

I hope that helps! :)

Ink October 27, 2009 at 12:02 am

I just submitted a longish comment (which you don’t have to post, btw, because it was really just for you) but because I typed an htmlesque thing in there, it probably sent it to your spam. So please check over there, kay? Kay! :)

humpsNbump October 27, 2009 at 1:06 am

You said it perfectly – autopilot that kicks in when we shut down. I love it. Thank you.

~ humps

jenie=) October 27, 2009 at 1:18 am

high five! ;)

am visiting from MOM BLOG NETWORK…a newbie. love your posts!
hope u visit my other blogs too.

theUngourmet October 27, 2009 at 1:49 am

I know these days well and I’m so glad to have had them! My kids are the apples of both of my eyes! :D

Happy belated birthday, BTW. I hope you had a lovely and relaxing day!

naptimewriting October 27, 2009 at 2:58 am

ugh. inspiring and depressing.
yay for you. And for our playdates where we both yell and nobody gasps (seriously, defriend that person).
and if we have autopilot, btw, why can’t we sleep 150 miles past our destination? that sounds really good right about now.

Grace Matthews October 27, 2009 at 8:55 am

I always wondered why Nikes were my favorite.

Sara October 27, 2009 at 3:25 pm

This post so resonates with me. My two are 16 months apart, planned, but still, it is a handful. We just do it. Keep on trucking. Toss them candy corn and rice krispie treats to tide them over during their swimming lesson and feed them dinner at 9pm. It just works somedays.

Ginger October 27, 2009 at 10:31 pm

love this post its so true i have a 15 month old and a 3 month old and people ask me how i do it all the time and my answer is always “i just do”

insider53 October 28, 2009 at 8:28 am

Ck, Ink said you are looking to change your background and I can help, a little. I am not the Queen of css but I have learned a few tricks. You can e-mail me with any questions anytime. :D

Zen Mom October 28, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Ahh, I’m having one of those days as I type. I will make it to bedtime, I will make it to bedtime.

Erica October 28, 2009 at 6:24 pm

cause we have no other choice… so we have to do it… :)

Casey October 28, 2009 at 11:31 pm

Ahh, bedtime. I have friends who just let their kids drop when they’re exhausted and they have the audacity to mock me for sticking to such a strict schedule. 7:30, bitches. That’s when mommy’s freedom begins. And you’re right.. some days it’s hard to imagine how the hell we all survived but somehow we did.

LZ October 31, 2009 at 10:17 am

Yikes. Just Yikes. I have a tough enough time with 2 kids, both over 2 (one of them in school every day!) I couldn’t imagine being pregnant with an infant, or even being pregnant with 2 kids already! I debate about the 3rd child – do we want one? Should we consider it when the youngest goes to school? Nah. I don’t think I could handle it. You’d see me at the park and write a very different post!

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