Losing a Baby

Everyone experiences loss, and miscarriage is common. But nothing prepared me for what it felt like to carry a baby I knew was dead.

They say it’s not the loss, but how you handle it that defines who you are. I hope they’re right.

Below is the story of THREE. From her surprise entrance, to her surprise exit.


Cindy Kane tells true story at the SpeakeasyDC ensemble performance “Bad Mommy Moments.” from SpeakeasyDC on Vimeo.


The Humping Dog (THREE, part I)

End of the Affair (THREE, part II)

Deconstructing the Announcement (THREE, part III)

What to Say When Your Friend is “Surprised” by a Third Pregnancy

ONE Benes

M&Ms and Tater Tots



Sonogram Results

Option 2

Red Sunset

Reading Instructions

One Step Back

Birthday Girl


Forgetting THREE


Beauty and Buttercups

Lucky Number THREE


The Walk Home

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Peace for Despair - the story of another mom who found the peace of God while holding her deceased child.

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“…but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And this hope will never let us down.” Romans 5:3-4


The Mother September 12, 2009 at 4:05 pm

I think it’s how you handle all of life’s trials that defines you.

This one I never encountered. But I know women who have, and it affects everyone differently. I’m glad you have found your way.

Michele October 20, 2009 at 1:44 am

Awww, Darlin…
I love these posts. I too have lost a child in a similar way… TWICE!!!
Trinity is my miracle baby… having 8 miscarriages in total.

So really, there is nothing I can add, except to say, thank you for sharing, and digging so deep! What an amazing, strong woman you are.

Kate May 22, 2010 at 4:37 pm

A kind friend told me, ‘ miscarriage may be common, but when I had mine it wasn’t common to me.’ This was after she asked if I was going to have another baby and I blurted something truly terrible back. And that’s why I never ask are you’re going have another? Because we just don’t know these things. Unless we’re done.
I hope our little lost ones are playing together up there.

Arin August 7, 2010 at 1:48 am

I love this blog. Thank you, I can so relate! I understand your loss as well… I had two and lost two in 2.5 years recently so I understand a lot of what you were saying.

Future Mom August 10, 2010 at 12:31 pm

I’m truly enlightened by reading this… just two weeks ago, I had a miscarriage only two weeks after discovering my pregnancy…. it hurt me very bad because I really want children and it was my first pregnancy. I was so excited, I told everyone in my family as soon as my doctor confirmed it… hopefully I will become a mother sooner rather than later :)

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