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As I find a moment to comfortably sit, a cat immediately attempts to jump into my lap. Wrangling for affection, I pursue his line of discourse momentarily before gently pushing him away –
“That’s enough Mr. Bones”
He gives me a look and a merve, tail in the air, he strolls from the room.
In comes THING 1. Holding Halloween candy – with a large yellow leak from his nostril hanging on the edge of his lip.
“Oh jeez, look at you. Come here” Reach for Kleenex… no Kleenex, grab toilet paper.
“Blow” Delivered like a line from a movie. Only this is just not so glamorous.
“What do you have there?” I ask, pretending I didn’t notice he somehow managed to break into the junk cupboard to get out the goods.
“Can I have some candy?”
“What’s the magic word?” why do I have to remind him of this every single day more times a day than I can count?
“Pllllleeeeaaasssseeee”
“You’re going to share with your brother, right?” I ask as I open the pack of rockets.
“Yesyesyesyes”
In comes THING 2. Bottle hanging out of his mouth, dragging dirty, much loved “boo” (once white now a distinguished grey colored blanket). There is also a large yellow leak on the edge of his lip. How fun.
“Here lumpy, come get some candy”
“Yah CONDEEEEE!!!!!!!” he drops everything for beloved sugar. That is what he would live on if I let him – chips and sugar. They each take their handfuls, letting out inaudible noises. I like to pretend they are “thank you” and “You’re the best mom”. I pretend lots of things.
Candy divided both creatures leave the room – and I finally have a moment to relax long enough to finish peeing.
!!! to having a moment to pee !!!